The clock strikes 2AM in a seemingly empty vessel referred to as home (Though a slightly skewed perception has been taken into account). The atmosphere still, silent, save metronome water ascending from the kitchen faucet. Somewhere in the space between silence, and inner chaos, it's as though I could hear millions of termites eating away at my very foundation. A bitterness grasping at the very vines of my existence, while ever growing resistance finds itself one and only in a vast sea of utter hopelessness. A playground of thoughts skipped and danced in the dead of night. As soft spoken whispers, exiting crimson kisses, pave the way for a long over due break down, somewhat a shakedown. A cleansing of over accumulated emotional residue if you will...
How long was I laying still beneath cotton sheets and dead skin cells, counting wolves in sheep's attire? Waiting to drift and reunite with misfit dreams. I lost my voice while calling out, a subconscious attempt to push it all away is one way to look at it. Really it's much to confusing to light upon a conclusion. Perpetual confusion has me reaching for more. Uncertain as to where it all began, uncertain as to how it will end. For just when I break the barrier of delusion, I find myself in a realm of hollow hopes. Ever changing and re-arranging is the vision that is placed before me. Creeping through a mirage of deserted ideas, I stumble upon a grave amid ashes of endless memories. And though it marks a new day, with all the more to burn. I cannot bring myself to forget.
Blood soaked finger nails tap to the wild tune of morning radio. Sugarless coffee and black and white polaroids. No better way to kiss the morning goodbye. I think of it as I lose myself in frozen moments. Faded, glossy and those kisses beneath my artificial sun. So much has changed since those days. Long gone are the petrified eyes, rather weary and shimmering before my gaze. How we've lost so much, through all that we've gained. Innocence caught in a tidal wave and to be lost forever. Still I consider it at every turn in my stomach, every bend around the corner. The scent of autumn breathes and releases, dances and traces silhouettes right back to that very day. Winter paints a picture so clear in my mind, with hands intertwined, And I know in that moment it seemed like forever. But forever has since moved on, and in this moment, forever is gone.
© Carla, 2011
How long was I laying still beneath cotton sheets and dead skin cells, counting wolves in sheep's attire? Waiting to drift and reunite with misfit dreams. I lost my voice while calling out, a subconscious attempt to push it all away is one way to look at it. Really it's much to confusing to light upon a conclusion. Perpetual confusion has me reaching for more. Uncertain as to where it all began, uncertain as to how it will end. For just when I break the barrier of delusion, I find myself in a realm of hollow hopes. Ever changing and re-arranging is the vision that is placed before me. Creeping through a mirage of deserted ideas, I stumble upon a grave amid ashes of endless memories. And though it marks a new day, with all the more to burn. I cannot bring myself to forget.
Blood soaked finger nails tap to the wild tune of morning radio. Sugarless coffee and black and white polaroids. No better way to kiss the morning goodbye. I think of it as I lose myself in frozen moments. Faded, glossy and those kisses beneath my artificial sun. So much has changed since those days. Long gone are the petrified eyes, rather weary and shimmering before my gaze. How we've lost so much, through all that we've gained. Innocence caught in a tidal wave and to be lost forever. Still I consider it at every turn in my stomach, every bend around the corner. The scent of autumn breathes and releases, dances and traces silhouettes right back to that very day. Winter paints a picture so clear in my mind, with hands intertwined, And I know in that moment it seemed like forever. But forever has since moved on, and in this moment, forever is gone.
© Carla, 2011
